Right Here. Right Now.

I ran up to the roof because I couldn’t believe the words you were saying. It was hard enough being in the same room with you, your wife, and my husband, but to hear you make that speech – to see the look of love in your eyes for her. I couldn’t stand it. I felt sick. I felt everything crumble around me and I had to get out of there. I couldn’t stay there another second. I was choking on the pain. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t look at you. You saw my face – you saw the tears threatening to own me. You knew me well enough to know how I would react to such a display of emotion. I knew you loved her. I never doubted that. I knew what we shared was separate from that. I knew that the parts we shared with each other were shared with no one else, not our spouses – not anyone. I never expected you to leave your wife. I wasn’t going to leave my husband. We both found each other because something was missing in our respective marriages. The passion, the fire – the need. We gave each to other what they couldn’t.

I never expected to see you tonight. I was going to some company benefit with my husband and when I saw you there I was more shocked than anything else. In the seven years that we have secretly been together – never did we bump into one another at a restaurant, or at a park with our kids. We lived minutes apart but amazingly never crossed paths. You didn’t see me at first. I tried to stay clear across the room, lost in the crowd but knowing you were there, I just couldn’t get you out of my mind. It’s always been like that, whenever you are near me, I lose control and I become yours. This time I had to stay in control because of where we were but I wanted you to know I was there. I needed you to feel me there. I inched my way closer and closer to you. I played it cool. I didn’t want anyone to know that I knew you. At one point, when we were just a couple of feet away I nonchalantly turned around and met your eyes. I could see the surprise in your stare and the way you had to contain it. My whole body was shaking. I felt the desire swelling inside me. My cheeks felt hot and the wetness between my legs belonged to you.

I noticed your wife by your side. I had only seen a picture of her. She was pretty. I tried to stay away from you, to look away but I couldn’t help myself. You were magnetic. I was so attracted to you I could barely stay away. But I had to. Fuck, it still amazed me what you do to me. How you turned me on. How my body responded to the sight of you.

At one point during the benefit you were asked to speak. Apparently you contributed in some way to tonight’s celebration, though I hardly paid any attention to that. Up until then we secretly flirted with each other. Spoke a language that only the two of us understood. I sat there watching you. I couldn’t turn away.

When you began your speech you didn’t look at me. You suddenly transformed into another form of yourself. A business man; seasoned, and well spoken. You spoke to the crowd, cracked a few jokes, and then asked your wife to come up on stage. You then got sidetracked and became another form of yourself. This time you were simply a man looking at the woman he loved. You professed your love to her, in front of all of us. Said you could never be the man you were today without her by your side. You never looked at me once. At one point there were tears in her eyes, as there was in mine. But for very different reasons. When you were done you kissed her and the crowd cheered, whistled, and applauded. I did not. I could not. It was all quite lovely, though it hurt like someone suddenly squeezed my heart and it stopped it from beating.

You still wouldn’t look at me. It wasn’t until your wife left your side that you turned to me and saw the tears in my eyes. My husband thankfully had gone to talk business with a fellow co-worker. If he had been here I don’t know how I could have hidden the way I was feeling.

I couldn’t stand it another minute. I fled the scene like I had just robbed a bank. I needed fresh air. I needed to think. What was happening to me? Up until now I had accepted our situation. I knew we had something profoundly intense and special. I knew I had touched your soul in a way no one else ever had. That a part of your heart belonged to me. You never just fucked me. You always fucked me with feelings. As much as we were in lust there was a connection that neither one of us could deny. Over the years we became very close but we knew our limits.

But tonight, seeing you with her, hearing the way you spoke about her. I just needed to get as far away from you as possible. I took the stairs all the way up to the roof. I figured no one would come up here. I was right. I was the only person and I was relieved. I went to the edge of the building and sat down. I looked out into the night and couldn’t stop the tears. I hated myself for feeling this way but I was never the kind of woman who kept it all inside. I’m so fucking emotional. Then I heard a door slam and turned around. It was you. I didn’t bother drying my eyes. I couldn’t even look at you. Right now I didn’t want to be around you. I got up and without saying a word walked past you, now wanting to just go home and get as far away from you as possible.

Confused you asked, “Where are you going?”

At first I wasn’t going to answer you but then simply said, “Home.”

When I reached the door you were suddenly there holding it closed. You grabbed my arm, your voice grew louder, angrier, even somewhat desperate. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

I couldn’t look at you. I looked out into the dark night instead. “Nothing is wrong. Please, just let me go.”

You wouldn’t let go. In fact you squeezed my arm even tighter just to show me that you weren’t letting me go anywhere.

“No. Tell me why you’re here, alone and crying.”

I was trembling now. Partly from the cold and partly from being so close to you.”

I was barely keeping it together. My heart felt one way but my body felt another. As much as I wanted to run away from you, I wanted your hands on me, ravaging my body, ripping at my skin. Fucking me. Fucking me hard. Right here. Right now. I slowly met your gaze and managed to say, “I didn’t know you were going to be here tonight.”

Your grasp on me loosened just a bit. “Neither did I darling. It was so unexpected yet so delightful to see you here. You look so incredibly sexy, you know.”

At that point I could have melted in your arms but my heart was stronger and it was hurting. I couldn’t ignore it.”

“I don’t think this is going to work out anymore. After tonight. After watching you with her. This…this has to stop now. I think I’m in too deep.” I still couldn’t believe that for the last seven years I had shared my body with you. I told you every dark dream I ever had and you made them come true. My creativity knew no bounds, my desires flourished. We pushed each other’s buttons in a way that kept the passion and the intensity animate, for all this time. I knew we had something special and it couldn’t be duplicated with anyone else.

I pulled my arm away from you and started opening the door but you slammed it shut.

I was choking again. Torn between what my body needed (what I knew you could give me) and what my heart was feeling. I was confused. I was angry.

And you, you were more than annoyed. I could tell. “I don’t understand. You love your husband just as much. This, us, has never been about them. We always agreed that our relationship with them, with our families were a separate part of us.” You put one hand on my shoulder and the other under my chin, lifting my head up so our eyes could meet. “But what we have is the part that is missing. You know that.”

I knew you were right.

You said, “When we are together you are mine.”

Smirking you continued, “I own you remember?”

I barely smiled. You were right though. You owned me. Still I was confused. Tears welled in my eyes again and I practically screamed, “Please, let me go.”

I stood there again looking down. I wondered if you knew the power you had over me. If I stared into your eyes long enough I don’t think I’d have the strength to resist you.

“No.” You said, “I can’t let you go.”

“Why?”

“Because I own you. Because I need you. Because you are mine. Do you understand that? You’re still playing these little games with me but I know you better than that. Every now and again you need that reassurance. I get that.”

Now I was getting angry. “That may have been how things were before but now it’s different. This isn’t a game damn it. I’m quite serious.” I looked at you now and I didn’t turn away. You weren’t going to treat me like a child this time. “I think it’s time we – ”

“Did you hear what I said? I said I fucking need you.”

You then pushed me against the door and kissed me. Kissed me hard. I could feel the desperation. The urgency. I couldn’t help myself. I never could when you touched me that way. You grabbed my hair and pulled it. Hard enough to where it hurt but your lips never left mine. You then reached around and cupped my ass with your hands pulling me closer to you. I could feel the hardness of your cock pressing against me. I tried to resist you. I tried to push away but you made it impossible for me to do so. The more I resisted the more you came at me and wouldn’t let me go. And fuck, you knew how much I liked that.

I was so aroused. My cunt needed you fucking me right now. You knew that too. You lifted up my dress and put your hand inside my drenched panties. Your fingers found my clit and he rubbed it. You wouldn’t stop kissing me. You wouldn’t stop rubbing me. The animal that you so effortlessly brought out of me was now panting. Groaning. Begging to be fucked by you. As your tongue molested mine I came into your mouth.

Then you said, “I’m going to fuck you. Right here. Right now.”

You opened the zipper of your pants and pulled out your beautiful cock. You lifted up one of my legs and wrapped it around your waist. He pulled my panties to the side and the force of your cock going into my pussy made me scream. You fucked me slowly at first, teasing me with it.
You knew how I needed to be fucked. Hard and fast. You knew me like no one else did. My pussy was on fire. Every thrust was making me even wetter. Feeling you inside me, feeling the anger building up to a passionate crescendo made me ache. Not just my body but my soul. You weren’t kissing me now you were looking at me. Watching me.

You said, as you slowly fucked me, “I own you. Don’t ever forget that.”

I was drunk with desire and could hardly speak but managed to say, “Please… harder.”

“Not yet my little whore. Not yet. If we were somewhere private I’d spank you first. Now you’re just going to have to wait.”

You pulled on the top of my dress not caring if it ripped and started teasing my nipples with your fingers. You knew that would drive me crazy.”

“Oh my god. You are torturing me now. I need you to fuck me harder.”

“Beg for it.”

All I could do was what you wanted. Having me in this position what could I do? I was your all over again. “Please fuck me harder. Please. I want to come. I want to come for you. I want you to watch me come for you.”

See, as much as you knew me, well, I knew you too. I knew you were addicted to the sound of me coming. The way I looked. The way I let go. I knew how much it drove you crazy.

Then as I watched you lose control you grabbed my other leg, lifting it up and around your waist. You pushed your cock into me harder and faster. I could feel the coarseness of the brick wall behind me tearing at my dress and ripping at my skin. I didn’t care. All I cared about was fucking you. Right here. Right now.

I held on to your shoulders while you hammered your cock into my cunt. I was screaming now, I could hear the faint echo of my voice reverberating back. I held onto you then, clinging to you as if this was the last time we would ever be together, knowing full well it was not, but imagining it to be. You owned me. I felt it in the way you held me and every time you fucked me.

When I started to come you pulled slightly away so you could look at me – revel in the pleasure you brought to me. I kissed you then and felt your cock swell inside until you finally lost control and surrendered to me.