Someone To Watch Over Me

It is very late and he is sleeping. She watches over him like an angel would. She watches him toss and turn in restless slumber. She knows what is weighing so heavily on his mind. She knows his soul is being tortured. What she wants more than anything is to reach out her hand and soothe him, hold him close, and rock him gently in her arms. She wishes she could touch him but he has refused her and she feels utterly useless and unwanted. She knows he is dreaming about her. She can feel it. She knows he is fighting hard to remain in control. It’s always been about control with him. With her he loses it and ultimately loses his mind. With her there is no stopping. With her the addiction runs deep and cuts through to his heart.

She sits there and ponders what to do next. She tries to will herself away from him but cannot. He has a strong hold on her as well. Being this close to him she can’t help but dream, if only for a moment, of surrendering to him. She wonders what will happen if he should wake up. What will he decide? She feels ripped apart inside. The anger is strong but her body betrays her once again and she can think of nothing else but to reach out and touch him.

It’s about commitment, it’s about surrender. She is willing to give herself completely to him. She trusts him with her heart, her mind, her body, and her soul but he is destroying that very trust. She knows he wants to possess her, that he needs to consume her. He wants to know that the tears she cries are from his own doing – and they are. Doesn’t he see that?

She stares at him intensely – as if somehow the power of her penetrating stare will awaken his soul. Then his eyes open and he looks at her with longing and stifled desire. He looks at her in disbelief. He wonders why she is still here waiting for him. What made her determined to break through the stone covering his heart. What made her strong enough to do that? He feels weak. He feels the magic. He feels the passion and the fever. He reaches out to touch her but she pulls away. Even though her body is screaming for his, how can she trust him now? She feels their connection slipping away into a blackened pile of memories. She feels her lips almost commanding to kiss him but she holds back with all of her might. Is he worthy? Does he deserve her now? What are his intentions?

With every beat of her heart she is slipping further into him. She doesn’t know what to do to stop it. How can he dismiss this gift that’s been given to him? He wants to break her but then he wants to take her and make her understand.

A tear falls from her eye and he lifts his hand to touch it. She allows him this. She then says, “I want to cry for you. But I also want you to be there to wipe them away.” It is then that the tears fall freely – pouring out of her soul. He watches them fall, imprisoned by her beauty. Then he takes her face in his hands and gently kisses each eye lid, tasting her tears as they replenish his soul.